Hello lovies! It feels like forever since I wrote to you last. I suppose 3 months almost is forever.
I'd like to preface this with the fact that I always knew then I would have a C-section. I hoped, I prayed, I put it out there as much as I could to avoid it, but in the end I knew...
My baby girl is here. Miss Dharma arrived on September 10th. She is a lovely little babe. Her arrival was quite eventful. If you have been following along you would have known that I had a disease called Cholestasis. Essentially it slows your gallbladder down and then starts affecting your liver which creates a toxic environment in your body for your baby. That then means your baby needs to be delivered early usually anywhere between 35 and 38 weeks of gestation. I was being monitored very closely by a few doctors and they had come to the agreement that 37 weeks would be long enough for me to carry her.
Every time I enter a hospital I have company (spirits). I'm never alone nor are you. You just don't hear them the way I do. As you can imagine I try very hard to avoid them. The people, the emotion and the energy is incredibly overwhelming for me. I was very lucky as each time I went into the hospital my family who are on the other side also accompanied me. They weren't necessarily bodyguards, but they did take care of spirits that were restless and would not leave me alone. A lot of the times when I'm in the hospital I shut down and become very quiet. This is because I'm trying to block everything out. I remember a few times different nurses or even my husband asking me 'Truly did you get that?', 'Truly did you hear that?', ' Are you understanding?'.
The thing with substances whether it be drugs or alcohol is that it can either enhance your gifts or it can block your gifts. This is why I find a lot of Mediums are inclined to drink too much or inclined to use other substances, whether it's for escape or enhancement dependent on the Medium. I found that alcohol can enhance it but makes me very dependent. I have found the drugs/medication block it, so I don't use them.
We started the induction on the evening of September 8th with a drug called Cervidil. I was sent home to rest, relax & wait. The monster contractions started very quickly once the drug started taking effect. By 10 hours I was in complete agony. These contractions were worse than any contraction I had with my 2 previous births. After being assessed at the hospital the doctor told me I was not dilated and that all she could do is offer morphine for pain and carry on, or to remove the Cervidil & try again tomorrow. I opted to try again the next day. I went home had a chicken sandwich and went to bed still contracting.
The next day (Sept 9th) I return to the hospital around noon and was induced again with Cervidil & morphine, as they weren't willing to try any other drugs at this point. My husband took me home fed me two chicken sandwiches, and I slept for nearly 10 hours. All the while I was still contracting but because i rarely take a Tylenol, the morphine had knocked me out.
I return to the hospital on the morning of September 10th. They had two emergency C-section's and three other women in labour at that point, so unfortunately I had to wait. I was seen mid afternoon and upon checking my progress the OB/GYN found that I had still not dilated at all. They found this quite interesting as I've now had two rounds of this drug which was supposed to be ideal for my circumstances. After a lengthy discussion the doctors decided that it would be best if they tried a gel called Prostaglandin. After inserting the gel the doctor had a feeling to do an ultrasound just to check and see where the baby was. His face was indescribable. He knew we were having a problem. The baby had moved to a breech position again up under my right ribs. After calling in a second doctor to confirm he quickly tried to remove the gel. This was the most excruciating thing I've ever felt in my life. The doctor literally had to scrape the gel out of my cervix while a nurse held me down by my shoulders. To say that I don't have any trauma associated with that would be irresponsible (I'm certainly in need of a CCMBA). Nonetheless they did what they could to get the gel out. After allowing me to compose myself they asked how I wanted to proceed. At that point we could do what they call a 'version', and manually flip the baby using pressure on my belly or we could opt for a C-section.
I knew that if I just had a C-section I would beat myself up for the rest of my life knowing that my child would not get a lot of the health benefits of being born vaginally, so they tried to perform a version, three times. Yes three times they try to flip this baby. She wasn't going anywhere! When we finally gave up and the doctors told me that I need to have a C-section I could only shake my head. I knew it all along. It would be a few hours before they had all the right people in place to perform the major surgery, so as I waited I asked to have a shower and to be able to express some breastmilk for my brand-new baby. I sent my husband home to check on our other two children and tried to sit in contemplation and have a conversation with God and the Angels. I actually wasn't scared going into the C-section. I knew I would be OK whether I made it out or not. I also knew they wouldn't let me off the hook as I still have too much to do here on earth.
I am very lucky in the fact that I have a good girlfriend that works at the hospital that I delivered in. She also works in the surgery unit and was able to prep the room for my surgery. Not only did she make sure everything was clean physically but energetically the room was beautiful. (Thank you dear Jenny). Entering the surgery room was very cold and yet I knew that I was surrounded in light. I had three large angels over me as they laid me on the cold steel table. The surgeons and staff were very kind and did all that they could to help me feel comfortable. The room was literally filled with spirit. The only time I was concerned was when I heard a gasp from the surgeon as he removed Dharma from my body. Her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck not one, not two, but three times! The cord was keeping her from descending down to be born. If I had pushed for a vaginal delivery she probably would have had some major complications.
They give you an incredible drugs when you go in for major surgery so much so that once I was out of surgery and into the recovery room there were only a few spirits that I knew were around me. The only reason I knew they were around me is because I could feel their vibration otherwise I couldn't hear see feel smell touch or taste a damn thing.
This block of information to all of my senses carried on for almost the entire time I was in the hospital. I've never felt more like a sane human being in my life. Lol. While in recovery I had quite a few nurses come and ask me about my work. I even had one of the two surgeons come and talk to me a little bit about what I do. I'm so shocked at how they don't know what I know. I would've thought that with all of their medical training and working in that environment they would have a better understanding, but a lot of them don't. It was a real pleasure to be able to help them understand the importance of their work.
Another really interesting point I should make is that my spirit guide the cardinal wasn't around much. He was quite upset with me as I did not stop working when he told me too. I knew the entire time that he was around and available if I needed him but only if I needed him. I also had faith that he would be there if I needed him and that he knew that I was OK and I trusted in that.
My girl kept passing all her tests and meeting or exceeding their expectations. We were out of the hospital on Sunday, September 12th.
They say it takes six weeks to recover from a major surgery like this. I'm inclined to agree with that statement. For the first two weeks I was on bedrest not allowed to even walk up and down my stairs. Every day I called the angels and asked for healing. Every day I felt them with me helping me to feel better and to evolve. In that time I had some lovely friends and family members come and help take care of my family and me. It was very difficult for me to allow others to do that for me. I tend to be overly independent and overly strong, so it was very hard for me to except help.
As I needed to stop working early on because of my health concerns I tried very hard to get back to work as soon as possible. I started back to work when she was 5 weeks old. Yes, my return to work is slow but I am still working. Do know friends that I am doing my best to work as often and frequently as I can not only for you, but for me too. There is a sense of joy and love that I get from bringing your loved ones to you.
Having a new baby means a few things. It means that I can't work for great lengths of time as I used to. I can't do back to back readings. I can't host workshops. I can't do big events. These are things that I do genuinely miss. Although, it does mean I can get snuggles every hour of the day. I can watch a person grow to be a person in their own right. I can help to inspire another life.
My work I'll continue as always. This is who I am and I can't deny that. You'll have to excuse me if I take a little more time falling in love with the little girl who chose me to be her mum.
Sending you & yours light, love & harmony. Xo Truly
I'd like to preface this with the fact that I always knew then I would have a C-section. I hoped, I prayed, I put it out there as much as I could to avoid it, but in the end I knew...
My baby girl is here. Miss Dharma arrived on September 10th. She is a lovely little babe. Her arrival was quite eventful. If you have been following along you would have known that I had a disease called Cholestasis. Essentially it slows your gallbladder down and then starts affecting your liver which creates a toxic environment in your body for your baby. That then means your baby needs to be delivered early usually anywhere between 35 and 38 weeks of gestation. I was being monitored very closely by a few doctors and they had come to the agreement that 37 weeks would be long enough for me to carry her.
Every time I enter a hospital I have company (spirits). I'm never alone nor are you. You just don't hear them the way I do. As you can imagine I try very hard to avoid them. The people, the emotion and the energy is incredibly overwhelming for me. I was very lucky as each time I went into the hospital my family who are on the other side also accompanied me. They weren't necessarily bodyguards, but they did take care of spirits that were restless and would not leave me alone. A lot of the times when I'm in the hospital I shut down and become very quiet. This is because I'm trying to block everything out. I remember a few times different nurses or even my husband asking me 'Truly did you get that?', 'Truly did you hear that?', ' Are you understanding?'.
The thing with substances whether it be drugs or alcohol is that it can either enhance your gifts or it can block your gifts. This is why I find a lot of Mediums are inclined to drink too much or inclined to use other substances, whether it's for escape or enhancement dependent on the Medium. I found that alcohol can enhance it but makes me very dependent. I have found the drugs/medication block it, so I don't use them.
We started the induction on the evening of September 8th with a drug called Cervidil. I was sent home to rest, relax & wait. The monster contractions started very quickly once the drug started taking effect. By 10 hours I was in complete agony. These contractions were worse than any contraction I had with my 2 previous births. After being assessed at the hospital the doctor told me I was not dilated and that all she could do is offer morphine for pain and carry on, or to remove the Cervidil & try again tomorrow. I opted to try again the next day. I went home had a chicken sandwich and went to bed still contracting.
The next day (Sept 9th) I return to the hospital around noon and was induced again with Cervidil & morphine, as they weren't willing to try any other drugs at this point. My husband took me home fed me two chicken sandwiches, and I slept for nearly 10 hours. All the while I was still contracting but because i rarely take a Tylenol, the morphine had knocked me out.
I return to the hospital on the morning of September 10th. They had two emergency C-section's and three other women in labour at that point, so unfortunately I had to wait. I was seen mid afternoon and upon checking my progress the OB/GYN found that I had still not dilated at all. They found this quite interesting as I've now had two rounds of this drug which was supposed to be ideal for my circumstances. After a lengthy discussion the doctors decided that it would be best if they tried a gel called Prostaglandin. After inserting the gel the doctor had a feeling to do an ultrasound just to check and see where the baby was. His face was indescribable. He knew we were having a problem. The baby had moved to a breech position again up under my right ribs. After calling in a second doctor to confirm he quickly tried to remove the gel. This was the most excruciating thing I've ever felt in my life. The doctor literally had to scrape the gel out of my cervix while a nurse held me down by my shoulders. To say that I don't have any trauma associated with that would be irresponsible (I'm certainly in need of a CCMBA). Nonetheless they did what they could to get the gel out. After allowing me to compose myself they asked how I wanted to proceed. At that point we could do what they call a 'version', and manually flip the baby using pressure on my belly or we could opt for a C-section.
I knew that if I just had a C-section I would beat myself up for the rest of my life knowing that my child would not get a lot of the health benefits of being born vaginally, so they tried to perform a version, three times. Yes three times they try to flip this baby. She wasn't going anywhere! When we finally gave up and the doctors told me that I need to have a C-section I could only shake my head. I knew it all along. It would be a few hours before they had all the right people in place to perform the major surgery, so as I waited I asked to have a shower and to be able to express some breastmilk for my brand-new baby. I sent my husband home to check on our other two children and tried to sit in contemplation and have a conversation with God and the Angels. I actually wasn't scared going into the C-section. I knew I would be OK whether I made it out or not. I also knew they wouldn't let me off the hook as I still have too much to do here on earth.
I am very lucky in the fact that I have a good girlfriend that works at the hospital that I delivered in. She also works in the surgery unit and was able to prep the room for my surgery. Not only did she make sure everything was clean physically but energetically the room was beautiful. (Thank you dear Jenny). Entering the surgery room was very cold and yet I knew that I was surrounded in light. I had three large angels over me as they laid me on the cold steel table. The surgeons and staff were very kind and did all that they could to help me feel comfortable. The room was literally filled with spirit. The only time I was concerned was when I heard a gasp from the surgeon as he removed Dharma from my body. Her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck not one, not two, but three times! The cord was keeping her from descending down to be born. If I had pushed for a vaginal delivery she probably would have had some major complications.
They give you an incredible drugs when you go in for major surgery so much so that once I was out of surgery and into the recovery room there were only a few spirits that I knew were around me. The only reason I knew they were around me is because I could feel their vibration otherwise I couldn't hear see feel smell touch or taste a damn thing.
This block of information to all of my senses carried on for almost the entire time I was in the hospital. I've never felt more like a sane human being in my life. Lol. While in recovery I had quite a few nurses come and ask me about my work. I even had one of the two surgeons come and talk to me a little bit about what I do. I'm so shocked at how they don't know what I know. I would've thought that with all of their medical training and working in that environment they would have a better understanding, but a lot of them don't. It was a real pleasure to be able to help them understand the importance of their work.
Another really interesting point I should make is that my spirit guide the cardinal wasn't around much. He was quite upset with me as I did not stop working when he told me too. I knew the entire time that he was around and available if I needed him but only if I needed him. I also had faith that he would be there if I needed him and that he knew that I was OK and I trusted in that.
My girl kept passing all her tests and meeting or exceeding their expectations. We were out of the hospital on Sunday, September 12th.
They say it takes six weeks to recover from a major surgery like this. I'm inclined to agree with that statement. For the first two weeks I was on bedrest not allowed to even walk up and down my stairs. Every day I called the angels and asked for healing. Every day I felt them with me helping me to feel better and to evolve. In that time I had some lovely friends and family members come and help take care of my family and me. It was very difficult for me to allow others to do that for me. I tend to be overly independent and overly strong, so it was very hard for me to except help.
As I needed to stop working early on because of my health concerns I tried very hard to get back to work as soon as possible. I started back to work when she was 5 weeks old. Yes, my return to work is slow but I am still working. Do know friends that I am doing my best to work as often and frequently as I can not only for you, but for me too. There is a sense of joy and love that I get from bringing your loved ones to you.
Having a new baby means a few things. It means that I can't work for great lengths of time as I used to. I can't do back to back readings. I can't host workshops. I can't do big events. These are things that I do genuinely miss. Although, it does mean I can get snuggles every hour of the day. I can watch a person grow to be a person in their own right. I can help to inspire another life.
My work I'll continue as always. This is who I am and I can't deny that. You'll have to excuse me if I take a little more time falling in love with the little girl who chose me to be her mum.
Sending you & yours light, love & harmony. Xo Truly
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