As I sit here in my office thinking about the first Christmas without my dad, I remember thinking that no one told me it was going to be hard. Really, really, hard. I was 13, and although I was used to not seeing him on Christmas eve (as he was usually on night shift), I would typically see him in the morning, and we would open presents before he went to bed.
The year he died my mother took us to Florida. Even now it is pretty cool to be able to say I spent Christmas in Babe Ruth’s Florida beach house one year. But we all know I’d trade being able to say that for having my dad for one more Christmas.
The point of me telling you all this is that I want you to remember to go easy on yourself. Allow yourself space and grace for grieving. Allow time for you. That Christmas was really quiet for my family. We didn’t push ourselves to celebrate much, but we were together. Sometimes all we need is quiet togetherness.
Below are some ideas in how to navigate the holiday season as you continue your life without your person(s). You might not like any of them, or they may all speak to you. I am sharing them with you in hopes that you remember that you are loved, and still needed.
Holiday Survival for the Grieving
Take time out to meditate. The ‘Loved Ones’ recorded guided meditation is my favourite one to talk to my dad: https://www.trulymedium.com/free-meditation.html
Dear Heart, please remember love never dies. They are always with you. Sending you love & warmth for this holiday season and always. Xo T
The year he died my mother took us to Florida. Even now it is pretty cool to be able to say I spent Christmas in Babe Ruth’s Florida beach house one year. But we all know I’d trade being able to say that for having my dad for one more Christmas.
The point of me telling you all this is that I want you to remember to go easy on yourself. Allow yourself space and grace for grieving. Allow time for you. That Christmas was really quiet for my family. We didn’t push ourselves to celebrate much, but we were together. Sometimes all we need is quiet togetherness.
Below are some ideas in how to navigate the holiday season as you continue your life without your person(s). You might not like any of them, or they may all speak to you. I am sharing them with you in hopes that you remember that you are loved, and still needed.
Holiday Survival for the Grieving
- Please DO NOT Apologize for grieving. You are allowed to feel all the feelings and let me tell you they will likely show up at the most inopportune times. It’s ok. Remember grief is love with nowhere to go.
- Take a time out! You can and may want to excuse yourself to go get some air if you are at a gathering or you may want to skip it all together. That is ok. Do what you need. Try not to get caught up in the expectations of others.
- Re-examine your priorities. What needs to be done vs. what ‘should’ be done. Don’t over book yourself with too much.
- Don’t abandon healthy habits. Still go to the gym. Still go see your therapist or counsellor. Take care of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs.
- Talk about your person(s). Remember them. Share the love you have for them with others. You have wonderful memories that are always best shared.
- Try a new tradition in honour of your loved one. Simple ones include;
- volunteering at a local shelter or soup kitchen
- collecting toys or warm clothing for others in need
- buying a meal or coffee for someone unexpectedly
- sending a note of encouragement to an unexpected recipient (#LoveLetters2Strangers for example)
- sponsoring a needing sports team or group in their name
- volunteering at a local shelter or soup kitchen
Take time out to meditate. The ‘Loved Ones’ recorded guided meditation is my favourite one to talk to my dad: https://www.trulymedium.com/free-meditation.html
Dear Heart, please remember love never dies. They are always with you. Sending you love & warmth for this holiday season and always. Xo T
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