Grief and I are old friends. Very old friends. I often invite them to dinner.... you see when you make space for grief, then it doesn't show up unannounced as often. They are more apt to wave hello, and then wait for you to be ready to embrace them. The document below is an excerpt from the workbook I wrote for my coping with grief workshop. I hope you find it helpful and as a timely reminder that we can navigate anything. Please know I am sending you so much love during the holiday season, and always. 
xo T 

So this morning I set my alarm for 5:35 am. I pulled on my swimsuit, socks, jeans and tshirt. I grabbed my Yoda hat (made by Knotty At Heart in Oshawa), and my sweater. I grabbed my backpack that I stocked with the necessary water, towels & banana from the night before & walked out my front door to be greeted by the golden sun. I drive about 45 minutes to get to the Orono Crown Lands. I thought I would be meeting friends, but Spirit had other plans for me. I waited 10 minutes and then I headed out on the 2 mile hike trail that we typically take before a plunge. I used my All Trails app/map so that I wouldn't get lost, although the trail is marked well.  I saw such beauty this morning. The way the sunlight played with the trees. The lushous ferns. The trilliums starting to die off. The mosquitoes were only bad when I stopped in the shade or for too long.  As I moved through the trail I became aware of my Dad (who passed 30 years ago) and his Dad (who passed 40 years ago) with me. I was quite surprised although in retrospect I don't know why, they both loved nature, hiking & swimming. I chatted with them about my life and 'the state of the Union' as Dad calls it.  As I walked further on the trail, getting closer and closer to the cold plunge spot, I had shared my reservations about cold plunging alone. All my previous plunges had been with others, and although I have a 'clean bill of health' at the moment, you just never know. They told me not to worry and to just keep moving forward.  So I did. I kept going. I took some beautiful pictures, and even a video of a babbling brook I will use later this week on social media to remind people to breathe. The plunge spot is on the other side of the old railroad bridge. So I hiked to the top, and then looked down. It was beautiful, but I saw no one there. 'Just keep moving forward Truly' I heard Dad's words echo in my mind. I started my descend down the steep trail of the other side of the bridge. As I approached the bottom of the stairs, I was met by 'Raven' a young dog and her lovely owner.  We exchanged good mornings, and my smile must have been a mile wide.  I dropped my backpack and started unlacing my hiking boots. As I started removing my layers, I was asked 'are you going in there?' with surprise.  'It's what I came to do' I replied. We exchanged a few words about the benefits of the task ahead of me, and then I set up my phone to record.  Raven got in first, but I stayed in the longest. I have no idea what the actual temperature was but I can tell you it felt colder than my portable inflatable hot tub turned cold tub, which hovers around 15*C.  Last time I was in the Wilmot Creek, with my trusted guide Kim Corrigan (who can be found at Life at Nature's Pace in Pontypool), it was 8*C i think. The more you cold plunge, the better your body becomes to regulating and adapting to the mind shift that occurs when you realize you are not going to die at this particular junction in time. You become acutely aware of the power of your breath  and consciously invite your body to relax.  Raven and her momma stayed with me, on their own accord, until I was out, toweled off and almost completely packed up. As I climbed back up the steep stairway, I could hear my Dad say, 'see, just keep moving forward Kid'.  As I got to the top, where the path back to the parking lot was I was kissed so sweetly by the sun.  I needed this today. I needed the solstice. The quiet contemplation. The clairity the cold brings. The reminder that I too am powerful and can do hard things. 

I looked up both Dog & Raven in Ted Andrews Animal-Speak book when I got home: 
Dogs, are companions to humans, providing faithful protection.... Examine the qualities of your breed and individual dog. It will reveal much about the energy associated with it. If dog has come into your life as a totem, ask yourself some questions: What is this saying about your need for or lack of companionship? Are you being faithful? Are others around you? Are you showing unconditional love, or receiving it? You you need to be more protective of your territory? Do you need to play a little more? Are you being faithful to yourself? Does your spirit need bolstering? How about those around you? Examine your territories. Dog knows its home ground, and if it has shown up, its energies and lessons will touch you personally. 

Ravens reflect the creative life force...... which can be used to work the magic of spiritual laws upon the physical plane. It can be used to go into the void and stir the energies to manifest that which you most need.  All this and more is what raven teaches. If raven has come into your life, expect magic. Somewhere in your life magic is at play. Raven activates the energy of magic, linking it with your will and intention.... Raven speaks messages from the spirit realm that can shapeshift your life dramatically. 

Thanks, Grampa, Dad, Raven and her Momma. 

​ You can do hard things, just keep moving forward. Spirit will always be with you. 

You can watch the Cold Plunge video on my Facebook Page.​

 '​Hello my loves,
 
So much happens in life. 
 
In this current season of my life, I’m becoming aware of so much duality. The ‘positive’ and the ‘negative’. The 'light' and the 'dark'. The ‘but’ and the ‘and’. So much of what we experience has 2 sides to it.
 
I’m feeling the pressure to return to work and the pressure to let my body digest the fact that I had an ORGAN REMOVED.
 
I’m feeling the push to physically connect with others and the frustration that I do not have the flexibility that I once had when I had a vehicle at my disposal 24/7.
 
I’m feeling grief that I terminated the life of a sacred animal who was so young and gratitude that I did not terminate my life, or my families lives in the process.
 
I’m feeling the pull to do something new, and the pains of what others want from me in regards to my work.
 
I’m feeling tired of carrying others, and yet know my purpose is to lift others up.
 
Working with my lifelong spirit guide ‘Cardinal’ (as in a Cardinal in the Catholic faith), AND working “Hecate” (as in the ancient Greek goddess of magic, witchcraft, the night, moon, ghosts and necromancy).
 
Can you see the duality?
 
This past week many people celebrated St. Patrick’s Day. It is such a bittersweet holiday for me. When I was little, my maternal grandmother being Irish always celebrated this day with such happiness. We would make Corned Beef and Cabbage with carrots and her favorite vegetable of all time, potatoes! And we would have Shamrock milkshakes from the Golden Arches. We would sing and dance in the kitchen, even if it was over the phone because she lived 3 hours away.  When I was 24, the man who was my adopted second father and who would be my father-in-law now, died unexpectedly on March 17th. His children were heartbroken. I did what I could to help because I already knew that pain. My dad had died about 10 years earlier.  
 
When I prepped my own traditional dinner this year my grandmother came in to guide me. Her warmth and love filled my kitchen the way sunlight does on a warm summer day. Then in the afternoon I could feel the grief slowly creep in. My heart was remembering Colin. He always made me feel welcome when I was in their home. He spoke to me like an adult, just like my dad did. He had a wonderful sense of humor and was able to put a smile on my face even though tears maybe streaming down it. Just like his son does now. I miss him. I miss her. I am so grateful for the love I experienced from both people. And still, it hurts so much to think about them. Even after all this time.
 
Duality. It’s everywhere I look these days.
 
This morning I had to help my 6-year-old daughter with her bowel movement. She had not been keeping up with her water consumption and therefor had the ‘hard poops’. As I sat holding her hand, encouraging her to breathe and push, I was reminded of my experiences with childbirth. Breathe and Push.  My mother was close by but not in the room. I regret that. She should have been there. I needed her. As my daughter finished and I wiped away her tears I silently hoped I’d be there to hold her hand and help her through childbirth if that’s the path she chooses to take.
 
Being increasingly aware of living and dying, birth and death, mundane and magic, is utterly exhausting. I am becoming more sensitive and reclusive. It is a beautiful and painful experience. And what I am realizing is that if I do not take care of myself, if I do not put boundaries in place and keep focused on what is genuinely important TO ME, I will miss it all.
 
Yoda said: “[M]y ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us, binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force flow around you. Here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, yes, even between the land and the ship.”  
 
So, thank you for your patience as I work through this season of my life. Thank you for your understanding and your compassion or lack thereof. Thank you for being here, reading this. (Thanks for something. ;) )
 
There are big shifts and changes happening in my Spirit that will/do affect how I show up to do the work. You may or may not like the changes to come. My promise to you is that I will continue to do my best. I will continue to share authentically. I will continue to think of others and be inclusive. I will continue to stand in love.
 
I may be melding in my caldron a little longer than anticipated. Great magic takes intention and time. And we all know I’m a recovering perfectionist.
 
All love on this the First day of Spring.

​ and always , xo T

Hi! 

I miss you. I know it has been such a long time since we could spend time to spend together. The Pandemic of the 21st century really put the halt on my plans, as I am sure it did for you too!  The world is opening up again, we are for the most part maskless again. We are gathering again. I have been blessed to host a few events so far... and I am planning more. More Truly Medium Lives, more retreats, more popups, and more Gather the Women. 

It does not escape me that most of you want one on one sessions. I know. I get at least 10 emails a week requesting to be put on a list for when I return. I don't have a list.  I adore you for asking. I really do.  What I need you to know is that in the foreseeable future, it won't be happening.  Although most of life has returned to 'normal', normal was not working for me. I was burnt out.  3 sessions a day, for 6 days a week was not balanced.  Also My children who are all under 12 years of age, are online learning from home. I am their in person teachers assistant from 8:30 am to 3 pm daily.  At the end of the day, I am exhausted.  (A BIG shout out to teachers, ea's and anyone involved in teaching or educating our children. Thank you. ) So for these reasons I will not be returning to one on one's anytime soon. I am thankful for your understanding. I am thankful for your compassion. I am thankful for your patience. I am thankful you are still here. 

I am still offering Letters from Beyond at the beginning of each month. It is the closest offering to a one on one session I am capable of providing at this current moment in time. 

I hope I see you at an event soon.

All love, Truly
​

I was invited to give the inspirational talk at the Divine Light Spiritual Church today. ​​I first gave this talk in 2015.  That year vowed to be more of my ‘Authentic Self’.  I vowed to come from a place of ‘Heart Centered Spirituality’, and show you my real self, whether others liked it or not, also even if I wasn’t ready.  It was a enlightening year to say the least. It strengthened my faith, my trust in the universe, and my confidence in myself. I have updated the important numbers below.  I do hope you enjoy. 

 
The Importance of Prayer
 
In Alice Walker’s Book The Color Purple, we are reminded that: “God ain’t he or she, but it…. Don’t look like anything. It ain’t something you can look at apart from anything else, including you. I believe God is everything. Everything that is or ever was or ever will be. And when you can feel that, and be happy to feel that, you’ve found it.”
 
So, let me clarify for you: All of these words are inter changeable: God, Buddha, Jesus, Ala, Christ Consciousness, Oneness, Universe, Infinite Intelligence, The Force, Divine Spirit, Universal Energy, Good Orderly Direction and so on…… Do you understand me? Yes, ok, lets carry on…. 
 
Prayer is NOT about what you can get, but rather a way of relating to your understanding of God. The act of prayer is to re-establish or strengthen our connection with Spirit Energy.
 
Prayer can be used to express the Truth of our own places in the universe. Everyday it can be used to remind us of our presence in this infinite mystery and unending time.
 
Prayer is useful. Just as the body needs rest, the mind needs peace, and the spirit needs attention. Prayer is a conscious decision to focus our attention on ONENESS. 
 
If you want to FEEL God, Energy or the DIVINE SPIRIT in your daily life, you need to act as if it is already a part of you. We are one divine energy or inspiration if you will.
 
Prayer can be simple:
 
Guide me, Remind me of the Truth of my being. Help me to see beyond what I can physically see. Give me courage and strength to share myself authentically. Inspire my Soul to do honest work.
  
Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet
“Don’t think that the person who is trying to comfort you now lives untroubled among the simple & quiet words that sometimes gives you pleasure. His life has much trouble and sadness, and remains behind yours. If it were otherwise, he could never been able to find those words.”
 
One of the best Confidence builders is experience. I am going to share some of mine with you now…  
 
It is hard to admit a weakness. Its hard to admit a weakness to others that you admire. It is hard to admit weakness to people who have bestowed a sacred title to you…
 
In churches, a minister is someone who is authorized by a church or religious organization to perform functions such as teaching of beliefs; leading services such as weddings, baptisms or funerals; or otherwise providing spiritual guidance to the community at large.
 
Notice how it doesn’t say anything about perfection…. Although it certainly feels implied sometimes… The heaviness of this title is not to be taken lightly. Please know, I don't.
 
2552 days…Can you guess what 2552 days is? If you trace it back it will bring you to January 28th, 2015. That is my Sobriety date. 
 
I am an alcoholic. I am what they call a ‘binge’ drinker… the semantics of this are not important to this talk, but that is the kind of alcoholic I am, in case you wanted to know.
 
Although like most alcoholics I have some incredible stories, funny and entertaining.  The story of all is the one of my sobriety.  It gave me my life back. It gave me purpose again. Admitting my problem gave me peace. When I accepted it, I was able to change. Change is what I needed most.
 
Sure I used a lot of tools to ‘get better’. The one that has seen me through day in and day out is prayer. That’s what I hope to share with you today.
 
Prayer  can be simple and eloquent. Or it can be dirty, messy and fist pumping. It can be whispered, thought, yelled, kept in secret or shared.  It can be big or small. It is entirely up to you. You are the deciding factor in your prayer.
 
You see I needed to tell you this so that you can see I’m no different from you. I am flawed. I am hurt. I am growing. I am grateful. I am honest. I am trying. I am human.  Remember you and I are the same.
 
You see we are all equal in Spirit- not one of us any different- and yet we feel different because of what we experience and the actions that we have or have not done.
 
When we recognize that we are not in charge, and that the only thing we can do is take charge of ourselves and our actions, that is when we awaken.  None of us are in charge of the universe or the actions or non-actions of others.

We are only in charge of ourselves.
 
This is when we start to realize how important that connection to the ‘oneness’, ‘god’, ‘divine spirit’, ‘universe’, or ‘force’ really is. We need to keep and maintain that connection to this so we can keep our connection to others. So we don’t feel so alone.
 
Some of the easiest prayers I have said have been:
 
‘HELP’
 
‘With Love’
 
‘ALWAYS’
 
‘Thank You’
 
‘Spirit I accept your guidance’
 
‘I forgive myself, I forgive you. I accept US  in human form.’
 
‘I need not be better than anyone else, but to be better than I used to be.’
 
‘I ask for transformation of what is in my control.’
 
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.’
 
‘I am becoming more and more myself.’
 
‘Guide me to my best self. Let me say yes to possibilities. Let me feel hope.’
 
‘I ask for circles of healing, the heartbeat, the planet in the mantle of love.’
 
‘Let love heal.’
 
‘In the light, blessed be.”
 
‘I believe.’
 
‘Let me know when I am ready.’
 
‘I wish the best for all of us.’

‘Use me as your instrument.’
 
‘Let peace begin with me.’
 
‘From Spirit, Through Spirit, To Spirit.’
 
“Let Love In.’
 
‘One Love, One Heart.’
 
‘all for love, or not at all’
 
‘Thy will be done.”
 
Dear ones, Prayer is just as important as meditation. I think we forget this…. I know I did.  Meditation is listening to God, Prayer is speaking to God. Now is the time. We all want to be great, and truth be told greatness requires sacrifice. It requires doing things that others won’t or can’t do. GREAT HABITS ARE FORMED DAILY. The fact is, good habits require consistent commitment. Highly successful people have learned to develop good habits. Make the commitment to make it past the obstacles’, no matter how many times you need to go back to it and start again to reach new levels of success. This is something that can and will change your life for the better. Trust me, I’m pretty confident in this.

Please feel free to use one of the above prayers, or make your own. But do it consistently. You will see what I'm talking about.   So Dear Ones, when I say to you, I care not how you pray…… as long as you do, what I’m really saying is ‘please reconnect, we need you’.

All Love, xo Truly

Trigger Warring: sexual abuse, pcos, miscarriage, trauma 

​I did something different today. I held my body and told it I loved it. I stood in front of the mirror, naked and held all the parts society tells me aren’t loveable. I held my ponch that I hide with my fancy elastic underwear. I held my tired breasts that were resting on my belly. I held the jiggly part under my arms. I held the cellulite on my round bottom. I told every part that I loved it. I told every part that it is beautiful. That I was proud of it. AND I FUCKING MEANT IT.
 
Yesterday I posted about having an open dialogue with children about sex. It said this: If we teach children about sex, consensual and non consensual, they have the knowledge to decipher when something is uncomfortable and wrong and the courage to know that what happened isn’t shameful or their fault. Withholding information about sex from kids does not help.” @Keiajahhh. 
 
The first time I had sex taken from me I was 3. That happened a few times a year from that age until I was 11. That’s a long time to be taken from.  I was raped at 16. And then again at 20. And again at 23. Those are just the accounts that were violent. There were many times that I had sex because it was easier, not because I wanted too (consent under duress is not consent).
 
I have carried guilt and shame in this body almost my whole life. 41 -3 = 38 years.
 
Recently I have come to the conclusion that I deprive myself of pleasure. I won’t let myself enjoy anything to do with sex because I can’t trust myself to know its safe. I CAN’T TRUST MYSELF TO KNOW ITS SAFE. My logical brain tries to convince my body, but my body says no.  Sometimes I down right torture myself, or have had others do it in the past.
 
I also have a condition called Polly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS for short). We won’t talk about whether the abuse as a child brought this on (I suspect it did). I will tell you its painful. That I have cramping in my uterus more often than I’d like to admit. My periods are irregular. I suffer migraines and headaches regularly. I have had many miscarriages because my body doesn’t function properly.  These are just the physical symptoms. There is a list of mental/emotional symptoms that’s just as long (depression, anxiety, self-depreciation, lethargy….)
 
 I have disliked my body for a very long time.  Maybe that's why I like being a physical evidential medium so much. I'm not in my body very often.... spirit is and I am just a bystander.  
 
In recent discussions with my husband, friends and professionals, I have been told that: “……you need to love yourself……Bring yourself back to gratitude……. But you are beautiful Truly….. This body gave you three children….. you are alive because it (your body) wants to be healthy…. Your body holds the magic that you are…. You are loved unconditionally…. ”
 
I heard them. But didn’t assimilate the information.
 
This morning I read: ‘Today in science we learned that you can never gain cold, you can only have an absence of heat; and it made me think that maybe hatred doesn’t exist, and that there’s only an absence of love’ @lowkeat.
 
Maybe my body is just surviving in an absence of love. So today I loved it.

I am thankful that the Ontario Government is slowly lifting the bans on life. Being in lockdown is so incredibly painful for this empath. Not that I want to see all the people. Nope not at all. I’m happy in my hobbit hole thanks.  But I tend to feel the collective stagnancy, frustration and depression. My body feels the exhaustion while my brain watches others mind-numb with substance abuse,  and escape mechanisms. yuck. 

My Bio Dad’s birthday was on the 7th of June. He would have been 77 this year. 7 was his favourite number. 

It was also Father’s day this past Sunday.  27 years without him to hug and kiss. 23 years to celebrate with my cool step dad. 11 celebrated with my Kyle, my kiddo’s dad. 

It was National Indigenous Peoples Day on June 21st. It is the official day of celebration to recognize and honour the achievements, history and reich cultures of First Nations, Inuit and Metis people in Canada.  They keep finding unmarked  or maybe unrecorded graves of indigenous children at residential schools. Indigenous women continue to go missing without the support of our government to search for them, or even prevent this from happening. There are STILL Indigenous communities in this country WITHOUT CLEAN WATER.  These issues are painful. These are atrocities.  I am personally struggling with how to respond and what I can do. What is in my capacity. Where my vote, voice and money are going. 

I started looking for Office Space. Insert crying sobs here. Commercial space is so expensive. I could make compromises, and exceptions sure. I could rent temporary space. I could share space. But the truth of the matter is I know my work would suffer greatly for this. I’m just not willing to give less that my all. I have worked since the age of 14. This is the longest period of time in my life that I have not worked (not even my maternity leaves were this long).  I will continue to wait and ask the universe to guide me. When I can return to work, I will. 

I’ve recently had a flair in Polycystic Ovarian Cysts. I even had one burst, which is incredibly painful while happening but the after effects typically last about 2-3 weeks. It takes a while to heal the burns left from the acid on the vaginal walls.  Did you just grimace? I did while writing it.  When a women’s hormones are off her whole world is off. There is pain, rage, tears and eventually acceptance that there is nothing to be done but just keep living. No magic pill. No miracle cure. Just keep doing the best you can. And try your best not to be too hard on yourself. 

In my somatic trauma resolution practice I have been working on boundaries (internal and external). Looking at underlying beliefs that were given to me or naturally absorbed over the years. I’m consciously looking at what I know to be true, what is false and how that lands in my reality. 

When I started looking at my belief’s it became rather painful.  Who am I? like not just who is Truly Medium and what does she do….. but more like who is Truly? Not the titles, labels, classes or experiences. Not what I can do and what I have done. But WHO AM I? What do I believe in? What is love? Can it be limited? Should it be limited? What do I really think and feel about money? What is my value? What is my worth?  How much alone time is too much? How many people do I really want in my circles (friend circle, acquaintance circle, family circle)? How much stuff is too much?  What I think about these things is one thing. How I apply them in my physical reality and live an authentic life is another. 

There are so many ebbs and flows. There are other things in my life that I am working through too that I’m not ready or willing to share at this time.  They are heavy. I actively surrender them to the universe with love. 

I know none of you take it personally that I’m not posting much. I know you are loving and forgiving creatures. I’m really just writing this for me. Documenting where I am at this moment in time.  So enough wallowing. I’m going to go sit in the sun. and maybe even have a nap. Sleep is good. Loving you.  xo, T

P.S. If your my kid some time in the future and reading my posts, I have loved you with every breath I breathe. You are worth every struggle, every stress and every pain. You bring incredible joy to my life and I’m thankful for you everyday. Even on the days that I yell. Even on the days that you don’t listen. Even on the days when I need to run away for a while. I love you always. 


P.P.S.  Here is the link to Connect, Ground, Protect. If you’re an empath like me, you need this. This is what has saved me time and time again.  

​

Hello Loves,

A dear friend asked me for guidance on how to do a burn release for tonights full moon. So I drafted this simple ceremony.  The full moon is the perfect time to let go of all that no longer serves your highest good.  I hope this script  helps you in whatever you choose to release tonight or in moons to come.

 Sending you all love, xoxo T 

P.S. If you have ever attended one of my Gather the Women Circles you will recognize the Fear Release ;) 



Full Moon Sacred Burn Release
Drafted by Truly Medium 
 
 
Before you Begin: 
 
Please Please Please be CAREFUL when working with fire. Be extremely diligent and have water or a fire extinguisher available to put it out at any point.  If you do not have a bon fire, you can use a caldron or a cast iron pot to burn your papers in. Again, be sure to be diligent in containing the heat and flame. I take no responsibility for what you do. 
 
Gather and place any crystals, jewelry, water or items you wish to energetically clear and recharge with the moon energy in the sacred space BEFORE you start. 
 
Bring a pen/pencil and note pad (possibly tissues) to help you release. 
 
Know that you can/should personalize this how you see fit. This is just a guideline to get you started. 
 

1. Clear the Space & Acknowledgements
2. Fear Release 
3. Amplifying Gratitude 
4. Clearing and Charging Items
5. Closing & Acknowledgements 

 
 
 

1. Clear the Space & Acknowledgements 

 
Gather around where the fire will be/is.  Allow a moment of silent reflection to recognize the creation of a sacred space.  Take at least 3 Belly Breaths to allow your body to acknowledge the change in energy. 
 
Step forward and light the fire or just become more aware of an already lit flame. 
 
Now is the time to throw loose dried sage leaves (cooking ones will do) into the fire or to pass around a sage stick to energetically clear the space. 
 
 
Speak:
 
Land acknowledgement: 
 
[Insert name of city/town] is located on the traditional territory of Indigenous peoples dating back countless generations. I want to show my respect for their contributions and recognize the role of treaty making in what is now Ontario. We wish to express gratitude to Mother Earth and for the resources we are using. We honour all the First Nation, Métis and Inuit people who have been living on the land since time immemorial and give thanks to them.  
 
Mother Moon, Goddess, Bringer of Light, thank you for your powerful blessings on this night.  I invoke you into my being and soul, fill up this vessel and make it whole. I stand before you in awe and love, I cherish the gifts you send from above. 
 
Sacred Flame Spirit, creator of heat and change, thank you for your presence and blessings on this night. I invoke you to bring forth all your magic. I stand in awe and love of your gifts. 
 
 

1. Fear Release

 
When fear overwhelms truth and love we call it pain. We have carried fear & pain for centuries in our cellular memory. These are barriers of love and wisdom.  We all have fears. We all have pain, resentment, anger and hurt. 
 
This is your opportunity to release and let the universe hear your request. Take a moment to get in touch with these feelings. Close your eyes and let your soul surrender to these feelings and emotions. (Breathe)
Let them be written. Allow them to bleed onto the paper. Write what you feel. Write what you cannot say. Write what needs to be released. Write what no longer serves a purpose.  Write the burdens your heart carries.
 
(give a few minutes)
 
When you are ready, fold it up (accordion style burns best). Approach the fire & say: 
 
Sacred Flame Spirit, I ask you to help me release and recycle this energy into a positive motion to help me move forward on my life path. I choose to let go of all that no longer serves my highest and greatest good. 
 
Mother Moon I ask that you help me to ease the past so that I may grow into the future with grace and confidence. 
 
Burn your list in the fire. Return to your seat. 
 

1. Amplifying Gratitude 

 
Dear one, fear and love cannot exist in the same vibration/frequency. 
 
Pick up your note pad again and write all you are thankful for. Write all things big and small. As you do you will begin to feel an energy shift. You will be standing in the vibration/energy of love and abundance. 
 
When you feel it is complete, you can burn it releasing it to the universe as well or fold it up and put it in your wallet or tucked away in a special spot as a reminder. 
 
If you choose to burn it fold it up (accordion style burns best). Approach the fire & say: 
 
Sacred Flame Spirit, I ask you to help me amplify the love and gratitude on this paper. Help me release this magic into the universe.
 
Mother Moon I ask that you help me to create and disperse more love throughout my life there by affecting all the world. 
 

1. Clearing & Charging Items

 
Touch or place your hand over your crystals, jewelry, tools, water or items. 
 
Say: 
 
Mother Moon I ask you to help me release any stagnant energy that is present here. Release anything that no longer serves my highest good. I ask that you replace it with your light and love.  So mote it be. 
 
 

1. Closing & Acknowledgements

 
With 3 belly breaths allow yourself to become centered.
 
Say: 
 
Mother Moon, Goddess, Bringer of Light, thank you for your powerful blessings on this night. I stand before you in awe and love, I cherish the gifts you send from above.
 
Sacred Flame Spirit, creator of heat and change, thank you for sharing your magic tonight. I stand in love and awe of the gifts you have presented here. 
 
Mother Earth thank you for the opportunity to learn and grow with you. I stand in love and gratitude for all you give. 
 
As above so below, let in the light and let it grow. (Amen or ‘if it is for me, so mote it be’ or any other closing you see fit). 

I write this more for myself than for you. I need to lay this to rest. I need to bury it so that my ego will step back and I can move forward.

I am angry at those who misuse Spiritual Healing of any kind (Mediumship, energy work, hands on healing, herbal remedies, meditation/guided imagery, and etc.). I am enraged at those who are insincere and inauthentic in their practices and teaching.

This piece is written as an opinion piece. It is not gospel. I am no guru. I am but a weary servant of the divine, who grows increasingly exhausted by the façade of ‘Spiritualism’ and ‘Enlightenment’.     

Just because ‘you can’ does not mean ‘you should’.

Do you know how many times someone who is spiritually inclined comes up to me and says ‘I’m a Medium too’ and when I ask them how they verify who they are getting their information from, I get a blank stare.  Too often. (side note if you can’t verify who your speaking to, then you are a psychic not a Medium. Medium’s give proof of survival/identity).

Do you know how many times someone has asked me for a certificate for a workshop or class I teach? Nearly every time I teach.  Most workshops are 5 hours in length…. And then they want me to ‘certify’ that they can ‘teach’ it after only 5 hours….. Do you see a problem here? I do.

I am tired. I am Angry. This is my ROAR.

I am so tired of people trying to make a FAST buck in the world of spirituality and healing. I am exhausted by seeing so many inauthentic ‘practitioners’, ‘therapists’ & ‘teachers’.  Am I perfect? No. But be damned sure you will know what I know OR more than me, before I ‘certify’ you. Why? Because if you don’t have integrity in your work you don’t have much. Integrity is defined by having the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

Trust cannot be bought. Especially when it comes to healing. I am incredibly careful in who I see and who I refer others to.  Do you know why? Because it is easy to get fucked up. It is easy to not follow your truth. It is easy to live another’s life or dream or think you have healed when you haven’t. I know because I’ve done it. I’ve also done it to others quite unintentionally. Which is why I have stepped back from teaching for a time.

When you are ‘certified’ you have someone to fall back on. Someone to turn to with questions. Someone with more experience or different insight.  Someone who showed you all they know and trusts that you will take great care with what they have taught you. They have faith that you will, with your whole heart, do what is best for all intended, not just yourself (well that’s if your ‘teacher’ has integrity).  Unless the certificate you have says ‘participated’, meaning that the teacher will vouch that you spent X number of hours studying, which may only be classroom time). 

Do you know I have NEVER ‘certified’ another instructor for CCMBA? Nope. Not once.
Did you know I have only ever endorsed or promoted a handful of other people that I FEEL will teach/present CCMBA properly. One of which is my mother who took it the same time as I did 20 years ago. These people have such genuine healing hearts. They don’t do it for the money. In all things there should be an appropriate energy exchange and the world recognizes money as that energy. So yes they charge for their time, energy & expertise. But they do it to heal the world. They do it with integrity. Are they perfect? No. But they do it with love. They do it for the same reasons I do it.

I could 'teach' other classes such as: Energetic Clearing Space & Objects,  the Black Pearl Healing Technique, Past Life Regression for Instructors, Hands of Healing, just to name a few.  I do not because I know I don't have enough experience in it yet. I know I can't answer the questions that will arise when teaching others how to do it. My integrity says I am not ready. 

I hate calling myself a ‘master’ in any subject, and yet I am looked to as one in the local mediumship world. I always feel that there is more to learn. But this is exactly why I am a master, because I have fallen more than the student has ever tried.

So, let’s talk about what to look for in a healer or teacher shall we?

Look for credentials. Yes, who taught them? Is there a governing body? How often do they re-certify? When was the last time they taught? How long have they practiced/been teaching? What do they love about their work? What do they hate about it?

Look for someone who is humble. Someone who knows they are not perfect but is also confident about the subject they are teaching or modality they work in. Confident, not cocky. Ego is ugly.

Look for someone who is kind. Kind when they don’t need to be. Yes, I know that this is hard to catch. Watch how they treat others or how they talk when others are not present.

Look for someone with a passion for what they do. It shouldn’t be just a ‘job’ for ‘Money’.  They should be pulled and wanting to constantly improve themselves and how they live.

Look for someone who respects traditions. There is a damn good reason why it’s a tradition and unless you have a really valid reason for changing it you should respect it and trust the creator’s reason for having it.  Don’t let your EGO of ‘knowing better’ get in the way. Simply put, an original is usually the best and most authentic version.

Look for love. Look for love in the way the person carries themselves. Hadakiel, The Guardian Angel of Judgemet, says if you demand perfection from yourself you will demand it from others and ruin your relationship with them. Strive for progress not perfection. If I can love myself with all my faults, I can love you too.

You know, one of the reasons why I stayed with the Spiritual church for so long is because I believed it could become a regulating body for Mediums. Just as lawyers have The Law Society of Ontario, and dentists have the ‘Royal College of Dental Surgeons of Ontario’. I wanted an industry standard.  I now know that the church is much too political for that.  But it was a dream of mine… to have someone other than ourselves to keep us all accountable. To make sure we were practicing with compassion and care.

I have been asked to teach mediumship time and time again. I want to. I do. I have had others tell me that there will be ‘Truly Medium Mediums’ in the near future. But then I wonder, who would I trust with my name? I hold my standards pretty high when it comes to my work. I work honestly. I work with care and love.

When I became a Spiritualist minister I took an oath to “…honour truth, value virtue, and goodness and will set these above worldly or material positions. I will respect individuality and will speak of people in their absence as I would in their presence. I will recognize mediumship as a sacred faculty to be exercised for the upliftment and progress of the human race…”

Yes, I’m still working on it. I am human.  Progress over perfection. But the fact that this is what I believe….. this is what I have pledged myself to........Has your teacher done that?  Do they have a decree or have they taken an oath?

By the way, that quoted bit above is from my ‘ministerial obligation’ which hangs on my self proclaimed ‘wall of shame’ (wall of certificates). My husband made me put them up in my office so that my clients could see that I am actually educated. I tell him all the time that people don’t want to see that.  They just want me to talk to their dead people. Which for the most part is true, but every once in a while, someone asks how I got so good at it………. Experience! That’s how I got so good. I practiced so much that I would become the best. I have failed… Oh man! I have failed and big. But I also have a hunger to grow. I’m always thirsty for knowledge. I created my own conference, so I didn’t have to travel out of province to learn!!!! (which incidentally failed at making me any material profit, but brought me and reminded me of the value of friends).

I guess what I’m trying to say with my soap box rant is, ‘Check their motive before you commit to learning from someone or to accepting their help in trying to heal your traumas’.

Thank you for reading the writings of a crazy lady who talks to the dead people.
 Yours, Truly xo
​
P.S. If you are angry with me and my opinion ask yourself why.

As I sit here in my office thinking about the first Christmas without my dad, I remember thinking that no one told me it was going to be hard. Really, really, hard. I was 13, and although I was used to not seeing him on Christmas eve (as he was usually on night shift), I would typically see him in the morning, and we would open presents before he went to bed.
 
The year he died my mother took us to Florida. Even now it is pretty cool to be able to say I spent Christmas in Babe Ruth’s Florida beach house one year. But we all know I’d trade being able to say that for having my dad for one more Christmas.
 
The point of me telling you all this is that I want you to remember to go easy on yourself. Allow yourself space and grace for grieving. Allow time for you. That Christmas was really quiet for my family. We didn’t push ourselves to celebrate much, but we were together. Sometimes all we need is quiet togetherness. 
 
Below are some ideas in how to navigate the holiday season as you continue your life without your person(s). You might not like any of them, or they may all speak to you. I am sharing them with you in hopes that you remember that you are loved, and still needed.
 
 
Holiday Survival for the Grieving
 

1. Please DO NOT Apologize for grieving. You are allowed to feel all the feelings and let me tell you they will likely show up at the most inopportune times. It’s ok. Remember grief is love with nowhere to go.  
2. Take a time out! You can and may want to excuse yourself to go get some air if you are at a gathering or you may want to skip it all together. That is ok. Do what you need. Try not to get caught up in the expectations of others.
3. Re-examine your priorities. What needs to be done vs. what ‘should’ be done. Don’t over book yourself with too much.
4. Don’t abandon healthy habits. Still go to the gym. Still go see your therapist or counsellor. Take care of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs.
5. Talk about your person(s). Remember them. Share the love you have for them with others. You have wonderful memories that are always best shared.
6. Try a new tradition in honour of your loved one. Simple ones include; 
   
   1. volunteering at a local shelter or soup kitchen
      
   2. collecting toys or warm clothing for others in need
      
   3. buying a meal or coffee for someone unexpectedly
      
   4. sending a note of encouragement to an unexpected recipient (#LoveLetters2Strangers for example)
      
   5. sponsoring a needing sports team or group in their name

 
Take time out to meditate. The ‘Loved Ones’ recorded guided meditation is my favourite one to talk to my dad: https://www.trulymedium.com/free-meditation.html

Dear Heart, please remember love never dies. They are always with you. Sending you love & warmth for this holiday season and always. Xo T