Yesterday. Yeah, yesterday was tough.
It was 8:30 pm & I was sitting with my last client of the day. I had read for her once before. She told me that her last reading was (her words) ‘incredible’. I had described her loved ones perfectly and she was anxious to make those connections again. I treated her like any other reading…. As I honestly don’t remember any of my readings.
I started as I always do…. Prayer asking for protection and love. I opened the spiritual ‘door’ to let those who have crossed over come in & then I waited….. When I started describing to this lady the 1st person in the room & how he died, she really had only one question for me. ‘Are you sure the first man you described dead? Or could he still be living somehow?’
When I asked him, he wouldn’t (or maybe couldn’t) respond. He then started talking about his spouse. He also gave me more information about his personality, and more about who he was. He gave me a sense of urgency, that the messages that he was giving me had to be passed along right away.
She thought this was her brother in law. He had been admitted to hospital earlier in the day for some routine or maintenance care. He had a disease, ALS or Lupis or something to that effect. She told me that they had put him in a coma to help him heal faster. A wave of grief came over me. I knew he was still alive. I also knew he wouldn’t be coming out again.
This is the part of my work I dislike. I learned a long time ago, it is not my job to change the messages. Its not my job to judge what is and is not important. I am only the telephone line to the other side.
I told this lady that I was very concerned for him, and that I felt that she should do what she could to support her sister as soon as she could. I don’t think she believed what she was hearing.
We carried on talking to the other family members who had crossed in the room, and the angel that also appeared. The rest of the reading was positive, filled with hope and love from her family and for things coming up in her life.
When I finished with her, I started my evening prayers. I asked God to help this family, as well as the many others that I come in contact with each day. I hoped with all my heart that the information I had given this lady was wrong. That somehow he was going to be fine and that their lives would continue on.
8:30 this morning I received an email from this lady. Her brother in law passed away some time around 8 am.
It’s a heavy thing, doing what I do. Talking about death, talking to dead people, its not always easy. I think that most people are afraid. They are afraid of what I do, what I know and what will be said. I think they are afraid of death. I really wish they weren’t afraid of me.
The life of a medium is lonely. I think because of their fear, most people wont keep in touch or let me in. Sometimes I feel like people only contact me when they need something from the other side. I’m sure that feeling is not something specific to me, but some days it certainly feels that way.
When I was a kid, I had a hard time differentiating between the living and the ‘dead’. In truth, I had more friends who were ‘dead’ than living. I’ve been an outsider most of my life. I guess that’s why I’ve kept to myself a lot. Maybe that’s why I seem private or sometimes cold. I’ve had a life time of learning that when I let people in, they don’t usually stay long.
Days like today I really ask myself if I’m doing the right thing. Should I be working as a medium? Is this the best way I can be in service to others? Is this the best way to contribute to the earth? Should I be telling people everything I receive?
Yes. As heartbreaking and heavy as it is, this work is needed. At this moment in time, this is how the world needs me.
Tomorrow is a brand new day. It will be filled with new people and new adventures. I’m excited for it. I’m grateful that when I put my head on my pillow tonight, that God will wash away most memories of the messages I shared today. I’m thankful for the peace that comes when I sleep.
Thanks for taking the time. Love & Light,
#MediumProblems #Death #Fear #Heavy #GodSpeed #PrayerRequest #AlwaysAlone