Gossip, Judgment and the law of Compassion.
August 10, 2013 Truly Dubourdieu  
The poet Rumi once wrote: ‘Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.’   Definition of GOSSIP a:  a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others b: rumor or report of an intimate nature   Definition of JUDGMENT a: a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion b: the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing   Definition of COMPASSION a: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it

Lately I have heard, or I should say, tried not to hear a lot of Gossip.  I keep reminding myself of the old adage of ‘If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’ It is so true. As humans we all struggle with this. Some of the most spiritual people I know still struggle with this.

How do you know what to believe and what not to believe?  What it really comes down to is WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE?

Last time I checked, even God loved me unconditionally. He allowed me to make my own path, live my own lessons, and make my own mistakes.  It’s not good when others hurt us or the people we love, but being a true spiritualist, we look at our 7 principles, and remember the last 3 principles:

*Personal Responsibility
*Compensation and Retribution here and hereafter for all the good and evil deeds done here on earth.
*Eternal Progress open to every human soul that wills to tread it by the path of eternal good.

In my private practice I counsel a lot of people. Most times we get hung up on what others think of us. One of my favorite books to suggest they read is ‘the 4 agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz.  He has a wonderful way of explaining how to look at this subject.

“Gossip is black magic at its very worst because it is pure poison. We learned how to gossip by agreement. When we were children, we heard the adults around us gossiping all the time, openly giving their opinions about other people. The even had opinions about people they didn’t even know.

Gossip has become the main form of communication in human society. It has become the way we feel close to each other, because it makes us feel better to see someone else feel as badly as we do.

Using the analogy of the human mind as a computer, gossip can be compared to a computer virus. A computer virus is a piece of computer language written in the same language all the other codes are written in, but with a harmful intent. This code is inserted into the program of your computer when you least expect it & most of the time without your awareness. After this code has been introduced, your computer doesn’t work quite right, or it doesn’t function at all because the codes get so mixed up with so many conflicting messages that it stops producing good results.

Human gossip works the same way. For example, you find out about a new group with new classes, new friends and new teachers. You are very excited and have been looking forward to it for a long time. On the first day of class you run into someone who took the class before who tells you ‘Oh that teacher was such a pompous jerk! He didn’t know what he was talking about and was a complete idiot, so watch out.”

You are immediately imprinted with the word and the emotional code the person had when saying this, but what you are not aware of is his or her motivation in telling you. This person could be angry for failing the class or simply making an assumption based on fears and prejudices, but because you have learned to ingest information like a child, some part of your believes the gossip and you go onto the class. As the teacher speaks, you feel the poison come up inside you and you don’t realize you are seeing the teacher through the eyes of the person who gave you that gossip. Then, you start talking to other people in the class about this, and they see the teacher in the say way: a Jerk and an Idiot. You really hate the class and soon you decide to drop out. You blame the teacher but it is gossip that is to blame.

One little piece of misinformation can break down communication between people, causing every person it touches to become infected and contagious to others. Imagine every single time others gossip to you, they insert a computer virus into your mind causing you to think a little less clearly every time. Then imagine that in an effort to clean up your own confusion and get some relief from the poison, you gossip and spread these viruses to someone else too.”

We are all children in the eyes of God. We are all learning, so who are we to say something negative or positive about another. Our opinion is simply that. Our belief about something or someone. We are not right or wrong. We could never understand the full story or know what lead to that person being or acting in a certain way. We are not to judge another, for whatever lead them to do the things they have done, may prove the same outcome for us. Judgment is a human invention- that God is not here to judge us, but to provide us the means to learn from our errors so that we can grow and evolve.

The key to dissipating Gossip is Compassion. The Law of Compassion is very powerful. It can destroy or empower others. In the Book ‘the Laws of Spirit’ Dan Millman shares this about Compassion:

The law of Compassion is not arbitrary or conditional. We know deeply troubled and destructive people exist in this world, and that disturbed people tend to disturb others. Compassion doesn’t mean letting such people walk over you and continue their destructive behaviors; some individuals need to be separated from society. But one can have compassion for evil without succumbing to it. In battle you can feel compassion toward your adversaries even when fighting to the death. The law of compassion directs you to act out of love and understanding instead of hatred or ignorance. To do so requires a leap to a larger perspective- to the realization that you live in a universe as just as it is mysterious. This depth of understanding flows from an understanding that we are all one. When you find this understanding you realize you do not have friends, you do not have enemies, all you really have is teachers.

The Law of Compassion reminds us that it is better to let compassion wash negative thoughts away with love and understanding than to believe or resist them.”

He goes on to make the comment, When you hear something negative of another, think about what you would feel if that person was dead.  Say you are in a heated argument with someone, and all of a sudden they clutch their chest,  utter a small cry, and fall dead at your feet. Where would your anger and resentment be at that moment?  Death is a great equalizer. It can help us change our perspective in a matter of moments.

One of the most published Spiritualist leaders of our past was a man by the name of H. Gordon Burroughs. He wrote many books, one called ‘Becoming a Spiritualist’. In this book he writes ‘The Spiritualist who really wishes to lead a spiritual life must strive at all times to see and think only of the higher and more beautiful things that he sees around and about him. He must never permit his thoughts to dwell upon the lower things of life, and must close the door tightly upon such emotions as jealousy, lewdness, and vulgarity.  ‘As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he’ and the thoughts of today become the acts of tomorrow. He realize that by keeping his thoughts upon only the highest things, he becomes possessed of a pure heart; that by developing every talent he is quickening his spiritual perceptions, which can only produce better conditions for all, as he leaves an influence for good with all whom he comes in contact, and which can have no other result than to bring the human race nearer to perfection.

The true spiritualist must learn the meaning of prayer in the truest sense of the word. He must, in the innermost depths of his hear, in silence and all sincerity, pray with the master who taught us to say: ‘May we not criticize, condemn, or censure one act of any human being, but project almighty love, for they like ourselves, are the children of the same Father, seeking to find him according to the light they now have.

The real spiritualist will at all times place the welfare of the cause he represents and the church to which he belongs before his own personal feelings. He realizes that in cooperation there is strength and he will make every effort to cement together as strongly as possible all the branches of the organization to which he belongs, even though he does not always agree with the personal opinions of some of the members. He does not allow his personal likes or dislikes to bias his opinions in any way. He is ever ready to lend a helping hand to those who are working to build a cause that will bring humanity in closer touch with the father and thus bring happiness to the world.’

In closing, I’d like to leave you with a story of a Catholic priest who made calls regularly in the home of a young widow. Someone stared passing a rumor. Some busybody became suspicious. Two ladies in the community ‘put two and two together’ and began to gossip. Suddenly the young widow died and the community was informed that she had been secretly sick with cancer. Only her priest knew about it. He came regularly to pray for her and help her. But someone with a dirty mind had started talking. The two ladies who were responsible for the gossip came to the priest and said ‘Father we are truly sorry. Why didn’t you tell us?’ The priest answered, ‘All right, if you’re sorry, take this feather pillow, to the top of the hill, and let the feathers fly were the wind will carry them.” And they did. When they came back with their empty pillowcase they said, ‘Father, we have done this. Now will you forgive us?’ The priest answered, ‘Not until you go out and pick up every feather and put them all back in the sack and bring it back to me.” They said, ‘But Father, that is impossible! The wind has blown the feathers to the four corners.’  To which he replied, ‘So it is with your words.’