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  • Medium & Psychic
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  Truly Medium

Miscarriage, Still Birth, & Abortion

11/7/2013

38 Comments

 
Never in all my years did I imagine this would be my most popular blog, but when I think about it makes sense. People do not talk about this subject. Maybe its too hard to verbalize, maybe we respect our social norms too much. Either way I am glad that we as a society are becoming more vocal about our feelings and experiences.  Jean Vanier once said "I am struck by how sharing our weakness and difficulties is more nourishing to others than sharing our qualities and successes". Its true.
So since this blog was written, I have lost the opportunity of  3 more children, making it 9 in total. Sigh, yes, even though I know they are with me, my heart still hurts. But I like to think it hurts a little less because I know they are with me.  I hope you find comfort, whether it is because of this information or not doesn't matter, just that you find peace.  Much love, xo T

"The most beautiful people we have know are those who have know defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I realize that I will probably receive a lot of comments about this blog. Hopefully my readers understand that I am not meaning to offend, I'm simply explaining what I know. I myself have lost the opportunity of 6 children in my life time. Although losing them was not easy, I was thankful for the opportunity to love them so much more than I had loved anyone or anything before. I am writing this blog because I have been asked by so many to explain what happened. Keep in mind, each persons story is different, and yet we all need a better understanding of what has happened.

There can be many reasons why a child dies. It is NEVER FAIR to the parent. The spirit of a child has free will, just as you and I do. All manifestations of life do.

The soul of a child exists well before actual conception. Each soul picks their parents (I have written of this before in a blog about personal responsibility). We choose our parents because they can help us learn the lessons we need to grow. We choose our mother 1st. I like to think its because she literally 'grows' us in her body & then nourishes our body with her milk. That's just my thoughts. We choose our father just the same as our mother. We will learn many things from him & he is just as important. 

The Dictionary defines Miscarriage as the spontaneous or unplanned expulsion of a fetus from the womb before it is able to survive independently. Still birth being defined as the birth of an infant that has died in the womb (strictly, after having survived through at least the first 28 weeks of pregnancy, earlier instances being regarded as abortion or miscarriage). I like to think of the definition of both of these tragedy's as the loss of a beautiful opportunity to learn and love.

After my 2nd miscarriage (as I told no one of the 1st), I was extremely distraught. I sought guidance from the one person who has always supported me, my mother.  She gave me the explanation that I have heard from many other spiritual people. "There was something wrong with the baby, and it was called home".  Seemed simple enough, but I wanted more. I started looking at the process of life. How we got here. After many conversations with my spirit guides and loved ones that I have lost I was reminded that we all have free will. Our free will begins before conception, when we chose to experience life (on our terms). I have found that in most cases of miscarriage, when the spirit was choosing its life lessons, they chose to few. These life lessons were completed all in a short time, without leaving the mother's womb. If we go back to the model that most spirits choose 25 life lessons or themes to work on while here, and then we look at the life of a spirit that ended before it was 'able to survive independently', we know that it most likely only choses 2 or 3 life lessons. Most of the time, this is done on purpose. The spirit needs to experience one or two specific lessons in order to grow. The most common of those lessons is Unconditional Love. Once these lessons have been completed, the spirit is then given the opportunity to go 'home' and start again. Having the free will to choose as many lessons he or she desires.

Now, abortion is a bit of a different story. Because each spirit chooses its parents, & can see the life path of those parents, it knows that there is a very good chance that it will not have the opportunity to fully manifest in this lifetime. This comes down to the free will of the mother. This spirit would have known that there was the possibility that the mother would not be able to bring it to fruition for whatever reason.

How we lost the child really has less to do with us & more to do with that child's spiritual journey. Most mothers hurt emotionally more than physically after this loss. My belief is that the spirit of that child stays in the aura or etheric field of the mother until such time that she can manifest a new opportunity for it to return. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a few opportunities before the spirit can fully manifest. It took 4 opportunities for my Tom to manifest. It took 3 for Graham & I still have a spirit in waiting.

What happens when the spirit cannot manifest (the mother does not become pregnant again or is unable to carry to term)? The spirit stays with the mother (in the auric field), until such time that she returns home.

Essentially ladies, our babies never leave us. 

Now, being a mother & having experienced this loss, in my mediumship practice I rarely bring this topic up as I know how painful it can be. I never know what or who to expect when I work, but I rarely hear from these spirits. If they do come forward they don't speak, they just show themselves (think of a bubble of light or orb). This type of loss is very common, but because of its delicate nature, most mediums will not bring it up. Mediums are funny creatures, most being extremely sensitive & empathetic, therefore they don't want to stir the emotional pot too much.

Anyway, I certainly hope that I have helped some of you heal & have given you a better understanding of this delicate topic. As always I welcome your thoughts & comments. Love & Light, Truly

"Look at your track record: You have survived 100% of everything in your life so far. So there is a very high chance you are going to survive anything that's to come." ~ Unknown

38 Comments
Candace
11/5/2013 09:55:10 pm

This is beautiful Truly. Touching and humbling. Not only comforting to those who've suffered but a reminder to moms to remember how blessed we are to have been chosen.
Very touching. Thank you for sharing this.

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Mary
2/8/2020 10:04:00 am

This is exactly what I’m going through myself right now. I didn’t know I was pregnant for 5yrs my husband and I tried and nothing I didn’t recognize the pregnancy symptoms I feel like I didn’t get them till had my miscarriage once that happened I didn’t know how to feel after a while it had hit me that I just had lost a child that I have been trying for years.. and now I see orbs and hear and see things moving around my house and in my heart for some weird reason I felt as if it’s a baby!! I had a friend tell me about a child spirit being in my house may I say I haven’t told anyone!!! About that

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Alva
11/5/2013 10:17:59 pm

This explanation is beautifully done and should ease the pain for many who have suffered the lost.

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Kira
11/5/2013 10:30:19 pm

Truly, thanks for writing about this delicate topic. I had a stillborn baby and have come to accept Leah's loss in a different way. Having always wanted to have children, medically I had been advised to never get pregnant unless I had brain surgery to correct a blood vessel malformation in my head that could cause me to have a stroke or die while giving birth. While seeking out a second opinion and being told that carrying a baby was not the risk so much as the pushing in labour, caesarean was an option for me. It was a difficult decision to decide which medical opinion would I consider to be the correct one. Miraculously, I never had to make that decision because a beautiful soul chose to come and allow me to carry her to term to show me that yes I could deliver a baby by caesarean section and survive. It was a very sad and difficult time to be told our baby girl was perfect in every way yet stillborn. No medical reason could be found for her to not have survived. It felt like such a cruel joke to be put through so much, but during those dark days of grief, a new way of looking at our baby's loss came to light. I believe Leah came and left for the purpose of showing me I could carry a baby to term. Without her mysterious entrance into my life, I can not say if I would have been courageous enough to have chosen one doctor's opinion over the other. Leah gave me the most beautiful gift of all, the opportunity to move forward to have a family without fear and apprehension for my safety. Within four months, I was pregnant again and gave birth to our second beautiful daughter, Karlie. Two and half years later we had our third beautiful daughter Natasha. Our family was now complete. One daughter in heaven and two here on earth.

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Candace
11/6/2013 01:24:27 am

As a mother, I can think of nothing more painful than what you described. Your struggle is truly a heartbreaking one. Reading it brought me to tears. Although we have never met, I’d like you to know what an incredibly strong woman you are. Your courage and strength is inspiring! To have not only survived such torment but to share your story and to find a way to move forward is unbelievable. Your daughters have a wonderful role model in you. I was sincerely touched by story.
Thank you for sharing it.

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Kira
11/6/2013 03:04:10 am

Thank you for letting me know that my story was inspiring for you. It takes time to look back on our lives to get a more clearer understanding about why we sometimes go through such difficult times. I hope every woman that has experienced pregnancy loss will be able to look back on this sad time to draw out some positive life learning lesson. I was touched that you saw me as being a strong woman as I have never thought of myself that way. For me seeking a reason for the loss of our first born was the only way I could move forward. It gave purpose for what appeared to be an unexplained tragedy. Leah did not die in vain, she lived and died fullfulling a beautiful gift to her mother, to know she can follow her dreams to have children.

Krista Marshall link
11/6/2013 01:41:19 am

Truly, although I have never had a miscarriage myself, this gave me goosebumps (and the other comments) and made me cry. I can only imagine the pain and feel you are very brave to write about your own personal experiences and understandings in order to help others. You obviously have a lot of wisdom and love to give and this is why they choose you:) I will be passing it on to a dear friend who has had similar experiences. Thank you for sharing.

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Janice
11/6/2013 02:14:09 am

Beautiful, thank you for this.

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Christina
11/7/2013 12:03:59 am

Wow! Wish I hadn't of read this in the store parking lot because it brought me to tears. Thank you so much for such beautiful words. After losing babies you always search and search for reasons why and I have never felt any to be as right as this does to me. Thank you so much for bringing me peace of mind.

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Gerri
11/27/2013 08:29:34 am

I have thought about this subject as well, and I have also understood the lesson to be for the parents as well. It is a tremendous heartache to lose anyone, but certainly worse to lose a child. However, from tremendous pain comes tremendous growth, and this is universally true for everyone who makes it through to the other side of this kind of pain. It seems to me that as we select our life path, we see 'free time' in our own journey, where we might be able to slip into a body that isn't intended to make it, but whose parents are someone we care deeply about. We take the opportunity to spend even a little time in the presence of the souls we love, and we lovingly give them the gifts of this lesson, even though these gifts may not be evident for years, if ever. No woman that has conceived is ever the same after, and the process of becoming a mother changes us all, even if our babes do no survive. Thank you for this beautiful, heartfelt post.

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Nicole
3/31/2014 07:56:37 am

Hi Truly,

I just came across this entry and it is inspiring and gives a sense of Hope. I had 2 miscarriages within a few months of each other in 2010. After my second I got very sick and was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and I've been on mess ever since. I've tried everything from holistic, prayer, etc and nothing has worked for me to go off mess so we can hopefully get pregnant again. I'm not on a high dose of anything but I'm worried I could do something to the child if I did become pregnant. I've been battling this for almost 4 years and I'm no spring chicken anymore. I'm getting older and my time I feel is running out. It's so heartbreaking and at times it's hard not have hope. Reading posts like this give me a little peace. Thank you.

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Vivien
5/13/2014 06:04:07 am

This is the only thing that I have come across that has helped understand my own six losses. I'd love to be able to communicate in the way you do with the spirit world. I just feel very lost and usure as to what or how to proceed.Basically I'm wanting to find a way to discover when I should start trying again.

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Kay
6/18/2014 04:34:42 pm

My heart breaks when I read stories about loss. I understand how these people feel and too have suffered great losses and am still trying to recover. I got married when I was 17 and my first child was born when I was 18. This was in a foreign country. Me and the father had broke up and my child was taken away from me and given to his father when he was only 10 days old since in that country the father has the right to his children. I was forced to remarry and a year later had a stillborn baby. Two years later I had another child and ended up divorcing my husband. I am now in my late 30's and have met the man I truly love and want to spend the rest of my life with. We decided about 4 years into our relationship to have a child so we did. We named our baby Angel because that's what he looked like when he was born. Last year after 18 years, I finally located my first son on the internet. I was so excited, I purchased a ticket and flew out to see him. About one hour after meeting my long lost son, I received the worst call of my life from my fiance telling me that my baby had passed away while he was in daycare. Everything after that seems unreal. I have not fully recovered from this loss and don't know if I ever will. My baby Angel was only 3 months at the time of his passing but my heart still aches for him. I don't know why this happened as it did. He was never sick & the only thing odd I can remember is waking up one night & seeing gold orbs circling above his crib. Perhaps I was just seeing things. All I know is for him to pass away at probably the same moment I reuinited with my first son is very odd. I have tried getting pregnant again but ended up having a miscarriage. At this point in my life, I think I just want to give up on trying again.

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jade
6/26/2014 10:52:49 am

ive just read this and in tears. i'm 22 and recently had a miscarriage. It was my first pregnancy and i was not planing on keeping it.. however as the weeks past I began to feel like I was getting attached.. i gave it a nick name and would look on google what it looks like at 9 weeks lol. on the 11 week i went for a scan, and was then told that my baby had no heartbeat. The person im with was not very supportive and didn't think a miscarriage was that bad. I feel guilty and so so sad about it.. i felt like i had lost someone and that i didnt look after them properly. Im still dealing with this and pray to god he/she is with the most loving parents. I hope one day when i have my life sorted I will be married and have a healthy loving pregancy. to anybody else who is feeling pain.. God knows best and we'll see them again one day God willing xoxo

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jennifer link
7/10/2014 02:28:01 pm

I am so glad i read this i had lost my 4th baby at 6 weeks to miscarriage in 2010 i have been suffering ever since i am now at the point that i am not sure i will be having more kids as i am blessed with 3others. I have always worried about where my Angel baby is and if i will ever see him or her again, i have heard other psychics say that if u have another child that soul comes back to u and was worried about not having more I'm thankful that u have said They never leave us thank you so much

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Laura Lee Roberts
7/27/2014 03:17:09 am

I too am a medium and I was given an abortion without my permission or knowledge (mom and doctor said it was treatment for an infection, but it was silver nitrate burning sticks). I was that naive. Later in life I had a blighted ovum. I thought I had an hysterical pregnancy because, by the time I had the blood work the hormones were back to normal. The blood cam later. While beginning to awaken metaphysically, I began hearing a baby cry, but could not find the source. It started a long metaphysical search. Two years ago I went to a medium and my father came through to apologize for the abortion (and a few other things). The medium told me that I had two miscarriages. I was shocked about the first one; what my parents did. I now know that I did have two babies and I now talk to them on the inside and sometimes I hear them answer. Your post gave me great comfort. I'm not crazy; they are still with me. Thank you so much for writing this; it has helped more than you could imagine. I wan't very connected in the past. I am now. I still feel quite violated by my Mom and I cannot speak to her at this time. I would like to forgive her, but I never got to have kids. Silver nitrate is a sterilization from the old days. You have given me some comfort and I am grateful! The last article I read said that it happened metaphysically because the soul found the mother unfit. That hurt, but I knew it was wrong.

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Hannah
9/12/2014 09:00:20 pm

Reading this has given me some comfort, I still have so many questions I'm not ever sure I'll get the answer to..
I lost a baby, we learnt very recently a girl thanks to a medium.. I'm glad I found your page and this beautiful piece.. I hope to get my answers someday.

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Beatriz
10/20/2014 11:40:45 am

Thanks for writing this. Just had a miscarriage two days ago. Finding this is comforting me beyond words. Thank you

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Mel
6/21/2017 12:45:32 am

I am in your shoes. This article did help a lot. Also my second day and mostly in shock but acceptance. I hope that next time.it.works out for. Both of us, as you wrote this over 2 years ago I hope you are happy and have a healthy baby now much love xoxo

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Gemma
12/5/2014 06:40:37 am

I really appreciate your blog post. It was both interesting and comforting for me to read. I experienced a stillbirth where my daughter died at the end of pregnancy at 38 weeks.

I couldn't have any more children. My daughter became pregnant with a little girl, 8 months after my daughter died. She was born almost to the day 18 months after my daughters death.

This has been incredibly difficult and painful. As well as giving much joy, but also has been the cause of a lot of confusion. A few weeks ago, my daughter gave birth to another little girl (my granddaughter is now 3), I am just coming up to the 5th anniversary of my daughters birth/death.

What you have explained, I have believed. I have believed that we choose our parents, particularly the mother. That we choose the life lessons that we wish to learn. However, with my last daughter who died, I still struggle with 'why'.

I watched other mothers go on to have another baby, every single one, apart from me. I had grandchildren, where they had children. Sometimes it is hard, most of the time it brings me great joy.

It is still to me today, quite confusing. My eldest granddaughter looks just like me, is so similar to me in personality. Whenever I spend time with her, I feel such joy, calm and peace. I love my other granddaughter, despite she is new just as much.

I wonder where is my daughter right now? has this new baby met my daughter in heaven before she decided to come here?

Sometimes I wish i had a phone line to heaven, as there are so many questions that I want/need answering.

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Heather
2/27/2015 12:36:56 am

Thank you. I lost 2 babies in the last year. . and yesterday my counselor said she could see the orbs around me. . and that it is a baby girl. .it truly lifts my heart to know she is with me. . And I hope to hold her soon♥ my lovely Matildae

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Candace .C.
6/1/2015 02:26:59 pm

"The loss of a beautiful opportunity to learn and love."
These words touched my heart and made me cry and they have healed my heart just a little.
I picked today of all days to read this of course because its the anniversary of my loss of a beautiful opportunity to love and learn.

"How we lost the child really has less to do with us & more to do with that child's spiritual journey. Most mothers hurt emotionally more than physically after this loss. My belief is that the spirit of that child stays in the aura or etheric field of the mother."

This meant so much to me I'm not sure why maybe because we need to be told its not our fault.
My experience was different because it was mine and I died when my baby died I mean actually died for 1minute and 20 seconds. it wasnt a magical experience I didnt see an angle or god or anything. But when I woke up I knew something I felt something different. I just understood something that I didnt know before. I knew I would never be the same again but yet I wasnt sad for my baby anymore I knew she was safe. After the loss I changed, my life changed, my relationship changed, and now I under whystand she wasnt ready to be here with me yet. Because I wasnt ready I wouldnt have been able to help her learn the lessons she needs. I am sad and I miss her even though I never got to meet her. I love her still everyday I am positive she feels that love. Until I get to meet her and she get to learn her lessons I will continue to work on learning mine. So when she comes I will be a stronger better more positive loving mother to her.
Thank you Truly

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B
8/29/2015 03:07:19 am

Having suffered a miscarriage only last week I have found this interesting and comforting reading. Not only that I have a strong sense that the spirit of he baby I was carrying is still very close by. Something I cannot explain! I feel it is telling me there is somehing I have to do...what that is I don't know, but I'm sure all will become clear!
This was my 2nd pregnancy. My first I knew I was prgnant well before the positive test and had a very strong sense of who my son was well.before he was.born. His spirit was close rigt from the outset. This time that sense wasn't so strong. It was intermittent. Although before I knew the baby had passed away I hadn't really acknowledged this. Strangely, I feel a stronger sense of a spirit around me now than while I was pregnant. Why is this? Is it really or just me imagining it because I still feel the loss?
I guess time will tell!

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Sheena
5/27/2016 09:23:40 am

This a very hard time for me, I just gave birth to a beautiful gorgeous and perfect in every way baby girl we named Brooklynne. She was stillborn. I didn't understand and still can't. Why did this happen? She was healthy at every appointment and then to find out in the end she was no longer here. My heart aches to hold her and kiss her and love her in everyday. I'd do anything to have her back. Not sure how this loss and complete emptiness will ever get better. I love all the stories u ladies have wrote. And I am terribly sorry for all of your losses💖

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Cnn
12/11/2016 08:42:32 pm

This gives some hope.I wish I can just get the answers from the souls to fully understand if it was the life they chose or it is my soul's life experience.I just don't seem to understand how I had a well planned pregnancy only for it to end in termination at 6months without any complications.I was under a strong force only to come back into my senses after that.I can not even tell what happened.

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Verna
1/20/2017 09:48:49 pm

exactly one month ago, I gave birth to my beautiful third daughter Angelina. She's perfect in every way, but she was still born. I'm so devastated by her death and have nearly lost my interest for living for a while. I have two other children, my son is 12, and my daughter is 2. Angelina was by IVF, I went through so much effort to have her. When I was pregnant with her I was filled with joy everyday. Now she has left me forever, I don't know how I could ever be truly happy again. I will always miss her and never ever stop loving her--my beautiful angel!

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Judit
5/2/2017 08:23:53 am

Wow! Thank you for this post. :) I lost a baby girl and now have a little boy. Do a child spirit doesn't care of the sex they manifest into?

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Ceebsa
5/17/2017 05:28:06 pm

Thank you, I am having a hard road to becoming a mother. At 16 I found myself pregnant, I was at a crossroads in my life, and at the time had a very tumultuous relationship with the partner and my own mother. I had an abortion as I did not want that partner to be a father of my children and I knew without the support of my own mother this road would be hard and unfair for my baby. However, it changed my life, it has taught me more than you could imagine and I am certainly the person I am today because of this experience. It set me on a path of fulfillment, acceptance and success, and at the time something I really needed to get my life on track. I have thought about this baby often throughout my life and it has helped me make many decisions about who I am. Recently 12yrs later, I have experienced a stillbirth with my soulmate and twin flame. It has been a hard few months but feel I have accepted this fate. I feel it was more life lessons for my partner but to also bring me back some humbleness and perspective. I will always love my baby, my first born son and hope that he will one day come back to us. I have had visions of a son pointing at a photo and saying "that's me" so faith and hope are helping me through this hard time. I have been trying to spiritually prepare myself for a new life and conception and have recently had dreams of reaching out into the ether to receive my baby and then holding and feeding him in my home. I am so ready now to become a mother, I know now that they choose us and the timing and we have to be patient. Thank you for helping me heal and feel at peace.

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Keilly
5/29/2017 01:31:20 am

I cannot thank you enough for this beautiful post. I have followed a spiritual path and for a few months I have struggled to find the answer to some questions... Until I read your blog. I am a student nurse working on a gynaecology ward, so I am looking after women who are experiencing miscarriage and abortion. As a mother myself, I knew that my spiritual beliefs would be tested together with the fact that I had two miscarriages myself, a few years ago. After reading your blog, I am at complete peace in my understanding of spirit and the lessons that life offers us. Thank you again for sharing this and I will endeavour to share this to help people heal from the pain of such a loss. God bless xx

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Morgan Brooke
7/14/2017 02:09:23 am

this is the most beautiful thing ive ever read and its brought me so much comfort. thank you. so much.

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Laurie
9/4/2017 11:52:47 am

This article is so comforting I lost my daughter to preterm stillbirth 4 years ago. I am in my mid forties and days away from a complete hysterectomy. I did not take her loss well at all. I was very bonded to this child and although I have had other miscarriages in the past, this was the hardest to deal with. I suffered severe depression for months and it almost ended my relationship with her father. I had a reiki session done last year and after the session was over the lady told me that the whole time she was treating me, there was a little girl spirit, around 2 or 3, there helping her by copying what she was doing and putting her little hands on me. The woman stated that this little girl loves you very much and never leaves your side. I feel like this is my daughter and ai couldnt be happier to know that at least if I cant be with her physically she is always here.

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kf
9/21/2017 02:36:44 pm

Thank you so much this was very helpfull

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Rahul
11/2/2017 10:54:42 pm

Recently I lost my new born baby girl who lived only for 4 days after birth.It is very hard to digest the truth that we have lost her. Being father, it is a different pain. Does the spirit of the baby incarnate to the same parent in the present life of the parent. Are there any chances that the spirit waits for the mother to become pregnant again. All the comments in above are regarding still borns and miscarriages. But for me the baby born and was alive for 4 days. Really sicking for the answer. Many thanks.

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Vineeta Whyte
2/10/2018 06:15:49 pm

This is exactly right as to what happens, the baby stays with the mother and acts as a spirit guide, appears at certain times as reminders, to show love, comfort, to send us messages, let us know he/she loves us and understands. Both will go to heaven together when the mother passes over.

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Teri
2/18/2018 04:08:23 am

I had a miscarriage at 19 and I gave birth to a daughter at age 27. Does this mean she has the same spirit of my miscarriage baby?

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Rebecca Misterly
10/28/2018 07:49:59 pm

Thank you for sharing this , it was well said and it did comfort my heart. I'm a mommy of 3 beautiful angels, twin sons and a year later my daughter, I didn't know I had a serious blood clotting disorder, a genetic mutation that in the second trimester clots blood and ruptures the uturus. My loss was immense , the darkness of those days I thought would never end , the pain in my emotional being. I'm a different person a better gentler kinder person now. My babies await me in heaven and I cannot wait to hold them.

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Toussaint link
1/11/2019 08:45:31 pm

I lost our son Orion last month. His heart stopped beating at around 16 weeks, and I learned of it at 17 weeks.

Everything you said has helped. I am empathize, and sympathize with your experiences too.

Now I have confirmation that he is with me,Ike I could feel he was. I hope he knows how much he is loved. How much he will be loved, forever.

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Jac
5/20/2019 01:18:03 am

This gave me such peace. I lost my boy on this month due to a heart defect. He had a very low chance of survival after birth. He was at 22 weeks gestation and was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. This gave me real comfort and strength and courage

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